Husbands quotes and kids’ quotes are somehow alike.

I spend a big part of my day picking up underwear from the floor. When I asked my husband how many underwear he wears per day he bluntly replied: ‘Four’. But I’m not sure he takes four showers a day.

When I complain that I clean up and he messes up he says: ‘Don’t we make a great team? It even rhymes.’

“Where’s the f* chaos theory I left around here?”

When it comes to food my problem is that I like everything. His problem is that he doesn’t like anything but less than half a dozen dishes he keeps ordering over and over again at restaurants. When I try to encourage him to try something new he says: ‘When I like something I stick to it. How would you feel if I ‘try’ other women?’

Also on the food front: When I cook something new I tell him the dish tastes like *** (something he likes). His reply: ‘My mom tried that when I was little’.