My husband and I recently moved to a cool apartment.

Decorating it has been a challenge.

The ideas from our gay friends are quite unattainable. But one girlfriend suggested us to use plants since they are cheap and can give any room a special touch. We liked the idea and bought a few of them. They look great but we soon realized they also need love and care. Which we have in bunches to give away but we are afraid our plants don’t want them.

My husband them reminded me of a funny story from our dating days. I had bought him a Bonsai tree for Valentine’s Day including this cheesy and tacky note: “I hope our love last as long as this Bonsai tree.” I should have written “longer than”. He placed it on top of the heater in his apartment in Manhattan and the next time I saw it, a few days later, the poor tree was dry and crispy and as dead as a corpse.

My husband accuses me of having a dark thumb but I suspect our plants don’t need love and care but just some water.

Anyway, I decided to buy artificial plants.

They can look very real. The one in the balcony looks great and my next door neighbor asks what my secret is. I smile and say: “Love and care.” That normally cuts the conversation short.

Some of my friends think they are real and when they try to touch them, I jump between them and my plant as a mommy bear protecting his offsprings and say: “DO NOT touch them, please!” They back up in awe and give me that surprised look. I smile uncomfortably and start to make up some theories as to why plants die if someone other than the owner touches them.

I hope they never read this post.