Human beings stink. Literally.

Do you know your corpse will start stinking really badly less than 24 hours after you die? And it’s the nastiest stink ever; it’d make anyone puke.

Then you, who tossed compost in the recycle bin and recyclables in the landfill bin your whole life, will keep contaminating the planet with the chemicals your nasty cadaver will release.

But now there is a solution you may soon be seeing on late night infomercials:

Mushroom Burial Suit!

Order now and get a second one free!

But wait! There’s more! Much more! Much much more!!!

If you order within the next 5 minutes we will include a THIRD Mushroom Burial Suit free!

Yes, that’s right! A THIRD Mushroom Burial Suit! Completely free!

And you also get to choose: Portobello, cremini, maitake or the delicious shiitake!!!

Pay just shipping and handling! One size fits all!

Stupid! Why would you need an extra Mushroom Burial Suit?

By the way, if you don’t know what a Mushroom Burial Suit is… Heck, just google it!