The whole thing about giving each other gifts during the Holidays started to feel fake to me a long time ago. In some cases I feel I was re-gifted or the sender gave me a gift to unclutter the closet. Sometimes they even smell of mold.

Okay, it is the thought that counts. Fine! There is a good reason to take the time and buy something meaningful. If you don’t have that time, just don’t buy anything and that will be perfectly fine.

Anyway, after a dozen years or so of marriage my husband and I are passed the stage of giving each other cards and presents, but sometimes we do.

This Christmas we were driving to a friend’s house for Santa’s dinner when I realized there was a red envelope sitting on the dashboard. It was not for our hosts because we already had a card for them. Jeez, I forgot to buy him a card!

I opened the card and read the lovely message. It said I was such a bright spot in his life, joy sharing and caring. Oh, I know I am! It had indeed been carefully picked.

On the inside there were two small cards: “Good for a bicycle” and “Good for a new phone”. Because my phone sucks and he thinks I need a new bike to ride along the beach. That’s our way when we do give gifts. We discuss it and then together we take the time to carefully find the right one. We don’t do returns or exchanges!

We had to stop on the way to buy a Christmas cake and that was my great opportunity to get even (did you see what I just wrote? “G-e-t e-v-e-n”! Gosh!).

I knew the parking lot would be full and my husband would have to wait in the car and drive around. I could even take longer and say there was a big line to check out. You know, everybody does last-minute shopping, including us.

I rushed to the card aisle and it looked like a hurricane had passed through. Another lady was trying to dig out something.

We looked at each other and with complicity, said, almost together: “Last minute card, huh?”

“Nothing much left, huh?”, I pointed out.

“And the few ones left are in Spanish”, she complained.

Fortunately I found a nice one. I swear that was what I would have chosen if I had more time.

It was simple and elegant and said on the outside: “For my husband. Life gives beautiful gifts – ”. And on the inside: “It gave me you. Merry Christmas.”

Then I had this brilliant idea: I bought a Powerball ticket and put it inside adding: “If $50 million is not enough you will still have ME!”

Bingo! I rushed back towards the car!

But, wait! I have to buy the cake!

I decided to give him the card after dinner, so he wouldn’t think I had bought the card at the last-minute.

The next day he asked me: “Did you buy the card at the grocery?”

And I knew he knew it…

“It’s okay”, he said. “It’s the thought that counts.”

Please forget what I wrote in the first paragraphs.